Yesterday's adventures:

Driving down the road with three of my kids and one of someone else's about a mile from home, we heard a small pop, then a bit of a wobble... then a REALLY BIG WOBBLE. Busy busy road (Rakow for the locals). I drove like that for a bit until I could pull over to a safe spot, and the picture below is what I found.

We called Steve and he came to change the tire. The tire was stuck on the van, so he called reinforcements. Our neighbor came to help, the spare was put on, then we went home (out of the rain) to be sure everything was ok.

We still went to Six Flags Great America yesterday. It was raining when we left, but we had truly wonderful weather at the park. The lines weren't bad at all, and there wasn't a ride that we didn't get to go on. We hit the Whizzer, Demon, Yankee Clipper, Batman*, Superman, X-Flight, Roaring Rapids, American Eagle, Viper, Raging Bull, Vertical Velocity, Giant Drop, and the Dark Knight. Only the kids went on the Raging Bull, Vertical Velocity and Roaring Rapids. (I didn't go on those).

*Batman the ride was running backwards - that ride really messed me up. I took some time to recover so that I could to on the Superman with Buddy and Sweet Pea later.

We stayed at the park longer than we had planned because we were having a great time and the weather was fabulous. After the park, we hit IHOP and made it back home around 11:00pm.

A long day with a precarious start, but a great one overall. :)

Friday Night

This wasn't the Friday night I had planned.

I had planned on cleaning out my closet and bedroom - the kids have deposited all the things they want to get rid of in our closet. I had moved most of it out of the closet so we could still get to our things. The big pile of unwanteds in the corner is really starting to get to me. The menu for next week and the grocery list also needed to be put together, and I was going to try to run over the library before it closed.

It would seem though, that were the mind is willing, the spirit is tired as hell. When I got home from work, I chatted with the family for a bit and decided to just sit down for a few minutes before playing short order cook for the kids and serving up soup and salad for Hubs and I. Forty-five minutes later I woke up, stumbled to the phone and ordered pizza.

After snarfing all the pizza, I pretty much slacked as much as possible.

Not what I had planned, but I'm rolling with it.

Saturday will be a busy day - the kids and I are headed to Six Flags, weather permitting. Right now, the forecast is cool and calling for scattered storms. That'll be fine. I'd rather deal with that than 100 degree temps. The kids are excited and I'm on guard for a headache that is just a ghost right now. I'm crossing my fingers it stays that way.

Anyhoober... time to get this mama to bed. Nighty-night, peeps.

Happy Friday!

I'm staring down the barrel of a work day, followed by a busy busy weekend.
The kids and I are going to Six Flags Great America (whether permitting) on Saturday, and we'll be headed over to visit Grandma and Grandpa for Father's Day on Sunday. In between those to events, I'm going to try to get the chores done and keep the kids from going stir crazy.

Things at work are going well. I'm ramping up to get back into the 'life long learning' motivation. Boss wants me to attend a conference in September and there are some business books I've marked as 'to-read'.

I'm feeling the need to "do better" in various aspects of my life again recently. I realize it will be a daily challenge and some days I'll be up for it, other days I may abandon it all together. I'll only fail if I give up completely.

I'm working on it...

So, it's time for the Dad thing again. It gets me every year.

 The first post/social media status update/news article/commercial I hear around this time of year about Father's Day --"Do something special for your Father this year..." "What Dad doesn't deserve this special thing..." "Show your Dad you love him..." -- usually makes me snork in derision. That is my default emotion/reaction when faced with "how special Dads are." In my darker moments, there are a few choice remarks that come to mind.

That reaction is stupid. I'm nearly 45 years old. You'd think I'd be over this by now. I like to think I am. Then Father's Day reappears.

Dit and I grew up without a father around. Simple story. Mom and Dad divorced. Dad felt it was easier to not be in the picture. The end. I no longer pine for that special daddy/daughter relationship that I was *so sure* we would have if he had been around.

I no longer throw my hand to my forehead in dramatic fashion over the fact that both biological dad and adoptive dad chose to dump and run. I don't care why. Ok. Maybe I care a little bit.

I understand their choices on some level. I'll never know HOW they could do that, yet their absence impacted me as much as their presence would have.

 Eight years ago, I was briefly reacquainted with adoptive dad. It has again been years since we've spoken and that's ok.

 Someday, I may have a chance to talk to biological dad. That would be good. Awkward probably, but putting a name to a face and asking a couple of questions of him would help. I don't long for that day as much as I did before either, though.

 What I need to do now is let go of the automatic anger and sarcasm that I've carried around so long. I recognize my 'default response' and am trying to correct it. It may be like closing the barn door after the horses escape, but it's a process.

 I'm working on it.

http://mycircuslife.blogspot.com/2008/06/fathers.html
(here's a link to something I wrote about the Dad thing in 2008)

Friday To Do Lists

I'm spending my Friday evening looking down the barrel of a truly busy weekend. Lunch with Mom and Dit, grocery shopping, laundry washing, library stopping, band contest, running to and fro... I have lists to work on, lists to make and lists to think of. So, what am I doing? I'm tinkering with the "new look" to Blogger because I was going to tinker with the new timeline Facebook is assigning me. I started out with great intentions, though. I might still get something done. What? It could happen...

GOOFY Friday - Evening

FRIDAY EVENING
I loaded the kids up into the car and traveled South to Geneva, IL. An author I've recently discovered was signing copies of his books there. I had 'talked' with him a couple of times on Twitter and Facebook, and purchased some of his books through his website, and was looking forward to meeting him in person. I had warned the kids to be on their best behavior, and bribed them with purchases if they were compliant. I felt ready to meet this guy.

We walked into the store and immediately spotted him near the entrance, surrounded by some other fans. Overcome by a fit of intimidation, I quickly steered the children towards the back of the store. It was no problem for the littles, because they were focused on the TOYS! BOOKS!. Punkin, however, knew I had just sort of freaked out. We walked around for a couple of minutes when Punkin asks "Mom, how long are you going to stall?" "Honey," I said "I feel an attack of stupid coming on. I need some time, and probably your help. Don't let me look stupid."

Well, that's a tall order, for sure. The more we walked around and anticipated meeting my new favorite author, the more giggly we became. It wasn't long before I realized I would have to approach him on my own. Apparently, the stupid tends to multiply when I have company. When Punkin wasn't looking, and the coast was clear (that is to say there weren't any other Travis Thrasher fans in the immediate vicinity to witness my attack of "fan girl"), I walked right up to him and introduced myself.

Thank GOD he seems like a nice person, and almost immediately put me at ease. The stupid dissolved, we chatted for a while, and he didn't roll his eyes (that I saw) when my kids approached me with the "Can we go now?" questions. He was also courteous with Punkin (who found me shortly after I got all brave), and asked her questions about what kind of books/movies she liked.

It looks like Punkin and I both have a new favorite author. I'm now on the hunt for the other half dozen or so books of his that I haven't read yet. Thankfully, he's writing more... I wouldn't want to run out of books to read.

GOOFY Friday - Morning, Afternoon

FRIDAY was a completely goofy day -- nothing bad, just not our typical day

FRIDAY MORNING
The kids went to the park district program, and I went off to run some errands. I did that, came home, started some laundry, watched a movie... no big deal, just a pretty casual start to the day.

A short while later, we got a phone call from Punkin, who then gave the phone to the park district program director who asked if it was ok if a reporter interviewed our family about the new CATCH (healthy eating) program that was covered by a grant to the after school program. I knew the reporters were going to be at the school, but was unsure about the details on why. I said "Sure, why not" and proceeded to answer a couple of questions over the phone. The reporter asked Punkin, Buddy and Sweet Pea some questions after I hung up, and just like that, we're in the Northwest Herald: "Grant aims to stop childhood obesity" bit.ly/Hm3Wj0

FRIDAY AFTERNOON
A little while later, Hubs and our neighbor, Brian (fueled by beer and boredom) decided to remove three 4x4 posts the previous owners had cemented into the backyard (their child was a gymnast. These posts served as uneven bars or something. Apparently, after seven years, Hubs got tired of mowing around them.)

After about 30 minutes of fighting with the posts that don’t want to move, two Crystal Lake police cars roll up across the street. A police officer from each car gets out a starts walking towards the house. One of them says. “Good afternoon, were you at the nearby Thornton’s gas station?” Hubs replied that yes, he was there, getting gas for his motorcycle. The officer then asked, “Did you attempt to abduct anyone from there? There was an attempted abduction there involving a possible silver Audi.” Well, Hubs was there on a red motorcycle that didn't have the trunk space to abduct anyone.

After a couple more questions and some chatting, the officers went back to their police cars. While Hubs and Brian went back to work digging out the posts. The officers stayed out in their squad cars for at least 45 minutes. I guess two men digging holes in the backyard with sledge hammers, shovels, sawzalls and drinking beer will make them suspicious! Here’s the story from the paper.

Crazy, right?

In between

In between having great ideas and plans and not yet being able to execute them

I feel the need to get organized
Get my ducks in a row
Create something
Paint
Decorate
Redecorate
Write
Make something beautiful
Get my hair cut
Lose weight
Feel better about myself
Create a "library space' in my living room
Buy new clothes
Buy new furniture
Scrub the oven out
Straighten things up
Toss things out

After weeding through, throwing away, packing up and dusting off all the nooks and crannies of my office space (and that of my boss's) I feel a bit... down.

I've been in this office space/building for nigh on 18 years, and Thursday, I will be moving to another building under the corporate umbrella. I will no longer have my fantastic windows. I will no longer feel the sunshine while I sit at my designated post.

That's not to say the new building doesn't have it's advantages -- I just don't know what they all are yet. It will be a change. An adjustment.

It's sort of a new beginning. A chance to make changes to routines, habits. A time to take stock, set goals, be better than before.

And I still feel like I want to accomplish something big. Something beautiful. I just can't decide what that something is.

I know this, though. It will be good.

It is good.

What if

There are days when the two sides of my brain are at war.

I have responsibilities and tasks that fall to the one side of the brain, but my creative side is struggling to break free.

I want to
Sit and listen to music
Paint something
Sing
Dance
Browse the library/book store for hours
Wander aimlessly
Be an invisible extrovert out in the world

I don't want to
make plans or lists
work on the tasks or cross things off
be stuck behind a desk for hours on end

My responsibilities limit me on days like today.

The sun is out
It is calling to me

Going out to lunch
getting away from this desk
sitting quietly
eating lunch
reading a book
seems like a capital idea

But

I wonder
What would happen
if I didn't come back this afternoon?