10.22.2017

3.0, 4.0 - Whatever it takes

At this moment, I am content. Yes, there are things that I'd like to do differently, and things that need to be done, and things that I'd like to do. But for now, at this moment. I am good. It was a good day of getting a few things done, listening to the rain, and watching the television with the kids. Yes, it was a very good day.

It's been a crazy year, and I'm not on social media as much as I used to be, but I'm still here.

When I used to write all the time, our oldest was in grade school and we had two toddlers. Now, we have three teenagers -- one is a sophomore in college, one is a sophomore in high school, and our boy is in 8th grade. Time flies, no?

Somehow in the past few years, I've... changed. Work slowly became less fun, the headaches became worse, there were various minor health issues, I started doing less, sitting more. I became less... me, I guess. I slowly lost my muchness without even realizing it.

Then, the universe gave me a kick in the ass.

Bio-Mom had heart surgery days after the company I had worked for for half my life eliminated my position. (She's doing GREAT, btw)  It took two and a half months of a plethora of roller coaster emotions, sending applications, and going on interviews before I was hired and part of the gainfully employed once again. My Mom, living in the Houston area with my sister, went into the hospital for back surgery. Infection has kept her in the hospital and rehab centers for going on three months now. They were spared any damage from the recent hurricane(s), but Mom almost had to be moved during the worst of it.

I am really enjoying my new job, new responsibilities, and new opportunities. I've promised myself that I would not become the person I was when I lost my job. I would do things that pushed me out of my comfort zone a bit, I would be more friendly, professional, and confident.

So far, so good.

Although, I still have A LOT of doubt about my abilities, who I am, what people really think of me, and if I'll ever be the person I want to be. Like, EVERY DAY. But, I'm working on it. I'm trying every day to not let the negative thoughts win, to be more open/friendly to the people I meet at work. Trying not to get in a rut. Trying to get back a bit of who I used to be.

Kelli 3.0, 4.0 -- whatever it takes.





4.22.2017

I guess it's about time...

My friends, there are only so many bon-bons one can eat, so many books one can read, and so many naps one can take before one starts talking to the furniture. ;)

After submitting 130 applications, going on 13 interviews, and driving 560 miles over the past nine weeks, I'm very pleased to say that my life of leisure is coming to an end after next week.

I am now a new employee for what appears to be a lovely company! The new commute will be more than twice the old commute, but the job, people, opportunities, and company all seem great. I am very excited about this new adventure.

The next week will be full of getting ready for this new chapter -- cleaning the house, sorting through all my clothes to see what fits, ironing, sewing as necessary, unsubscribing from a bunch of job sites, getting the van ready for the longer commute... the list is long.

Thank you to all of you who provided me with words of encouragement and support while I was working towards this adventure -- especially my family. There have been lots of ups and downs over the past few weeks. LOTS.

Bring it on universe! I'm ready! :)

3.22.2017

Funny thing happened on the way to the interview...

Because life is the way it is, the H/R guy from The Job (the job that I'm currently most hoping to get) called to say the prospective employer was available the only evening this week that we already had plans. SweetPea was signing that same night with the choir in a concert that was a very big deal to her, and therefore it was a very big deal to us. After some back and forth, we decided I could meet with the executive at 5:00pm (about an hour away) and still make it to the concert by 7:00pm -- if everything went according to plan.

I spent the day freaking out off and on (nerves! anxiety! doubts!) and hanging out with Punkin, getting her advice on my interview outfit, and getting ready. Hubs came home and suggested I leave immediately just in case. I had planned to do that anyway, so after a few hugs and good wishes I was off to interview for The Job. It was 3:30pm, so that should give me plenty of time to get to the interview, and still have a few minutes in case I got lost or get stuff in traffic.

 The directions were fairly straight-forward and I was making good time. I was still freaking out a bit, but trying to reign it in. I sent up silent prayers that I would make it there, not blow the interview, and everything would work out just fine.

And then, the tire pressure sensor light on the van went off. I wasn't concerned. This happens from time to time, and I've learned that it was something non-urgent that I could deal with when I got back home.

And then, a driver came up on my left, honked, and pointed to the rear driver's side tire. That was different, so I pulled into the next driveway to have a look.

Huh. Flat tire. (commence full blown internal freak out) That was new. It definitely didn't look like that when I left the house, or while I ran errands earlier in the day.

I was about halfway to the interview, freaking out, and very much a damsel in distress. I called my superhero husband, then called other white knight reinforcements who were closer to my current location. Non-Bio Dad (married to Bio-Mom) dropped what he was doing in order to pick me up and take me to the interview.

The nervous laughter bubbled up, in part due to the freaking out, but also because I realized I was now more anxious about getting to the interview, then the interview itself. Anxious, nervous, and wondering if I would make it in time, I waited in my disabled van, watching the clock. I had 32 minutes to get to the interview. GPS said it would take me 21 minutes to get there from my current location.

Moments later, Non-Bio Dad arrived in his white chariot and whisked me off to the interview. We arrived in time for me to check in with the front desk and take a few deep breaths before the executive arrived to begin the interview.*

Superhero Hubs arrived shortly after that to put the spare tire on (after taking it to the nearest gas station to put air in it), stowed the disabled tire in the back of the van and return home in time to get to SweetPea's concert.

The first question the executive had for me was "So, how was the ride here?"
"Funny you should ask..." I said and told him a very abbreviated version of my tale before getting to the interview itself. The last question the executive asked me was "So... do you have a ride home?" 😏

After the interview, Non-Bio Dad drove me back to the now not-so-disabled van. I hopped in and was able to get to the school just as the choir was filing into the place. SweetPea saw that I made it and beamed. (Later she told me her nerves had just been getting to her, but calmed a bit when she saw me.)

The concert was wonderful (Vivaldi's Gloria played by the orchestra from Conant High School and sung by choirs from both SweetPea's and Conant High Schools). Somehow, in spite of everything, and with the help of two great people, I made it, on time, to the two places I had to be that night.

Timing is everything.

* Wondering how the interview went?  It seemed to go well. The executive said he would give positive feedback to Human Resources and hoped to close the process of filling the position "soon." I think I would be a good fit for the job, the executive, and the company. Now I wait. 


3.16.2017

But who's counting?

4 weeks
61 applications sent out
2 recruiters
7 phone screens
1 FaceTime interview
2 in-person interviews
1 in-person interview pending

I am not counting the companies that told me "the position has been filled."
Nor am I counting the companies that have not gotten back to me. I'm choosing to focus on the 'wins.'

I know getting let go was actually a good thing.

I've been happy, elated, hopeful, discouraged, disappointed, and frustrated.

I am not giving up.

The job is out there.

The adventure continues...

3.01.2017

Hello World. It's been a while...

So, nearly two weeks ago, my circus life was upended a bit.

Bio-Mom called to say she was going to the hospital because her bronchitis and pneumonia weren't getting any better. She got sick in December and was diagnosed with bronchitis. In January, it grew to pneumonia. A few days after she was admitted, she ended up getting a shiny new heart valve. We are all completely thrilled that she came through the surgery just fine and is healing little by little.

Later that same day, my Executive Administrative Assistant position was eliminated from the place I've worked for nearly 24 years. There had been rumblings and rumors, and the company is undergoing some changes. To say I knew or had a feeling this was coming is true in the same sense that we all know we're going to die at some point, we just hope it's not today.

While I know this will be a good thing when all the dust settles, I can tell you this hit me hard. I was a bit teary during the exit interview, but held it together when I collected my things. I made it to the van and became a blubbering mess on the phone with my husband. It was a significant loss, expected or not.

Once home, after another bout of tears, I sat in the chair running through everything in my head. I decided I should probably get the vacuum cleaner out and vacuum behind the corner television that we never move in the family room. And then I realized I just might go insane... a short trip, really.

I haven't, though. I'm ok. I'm completely out of my comfort zone and I miss the people I worked with and I have some moments of disbelief, frustration, and major self doubt. And, I know it's only been about two weeks, but I have hope. Lots of hope. It comes in the form of advice from people I've reached out to, every new job listing I see, and friends and family.

My days are spent listening to my music, connecting with people, working my network, getting coached through this process, checking job listings, and tweaking my resume.

It may be a bumpy road, and I can't see how long it is from where I am now, but I'll get to where I'm going. And it will be good.

8.23.2013

August

This August has pretty much been a blur of stress, anxiety, headaches and waiting for the headache meds to kick in.

One child a sophomore in high school. One just into middle school, and one in elementary school.
Oldest is learning to drive and getting her first job.
Middle is nervous and excited about starting middle school.
Youngest is nervous he won't do well in fourth grade.

As I type this, the side of my head hurts. Not the usual, monthly headache, but more weather/sinus-related probably. I get more of these types of headaches in July and August. Instead of one or two a month, I get them every few days. When they hit, I just want to lie down and go to sleep. Thankfully, the headache meds work most of the time.

I plan on talking to the doc to see if I can take a daily preventive medication for only a couple of months at a time. I don't want to be on preventive meds 24/7 due to the side effects. If I can only take it (and have it work) for a few months out of the year, though, I will.

I also know I need to take different steps to take care of myself. Eat better, move more, lose some weight.
Too much soda and junk food lately. I've been getting on the exercise bike a bit more lately. Today, I start my "no cocoa" goal.

Clearly, I have a case of the rambles this morning. I'm tired and achey and just want to run off to a beach somewhere and sit there listening to the waves for a while and not think about anything.

That would be nice.

7.25.2013

Had a small existential crisis last night.

The wife and mother of a coworker passed recently. I did not know her personally, but knew she was a special person.

The photos reminded me of photos so many of us have of our families. The flowers were lovely and beautiful. The bits and pieces the family shared were a tribute to a kind soul.

On the way home, my mind started to wander.

Why are we really here? What does it all mean? What is it all for?

I did not have any answers. Now, I don't want you to think I'm falling into some deep depression, nor am I a danger to myself or others. The mind just sometimes travels down unbeaten and shadowy paths. *

Maybe we're here to make other's lives better -- but why? This is the thought that circled my mind during the drive home.

Do you have an answer? What are your thoughts?

* The mind tends to visit these places more when a migraine is coming on. I took my meds and got myself to bed early. Today, the migraine is gone. The question remains, but isn't as 'loud' as it was.

All Circus Life pages and content are owned and
copyrighted by me, 2000-2013