2.02.2007

Working Mommy Week

Buddy's been sick this week. Hubby and I have been splitting the last three days between working and staying home with the boy.

Poor little guy has had a fever and has just been feeling pretty punk. Today he seems to be on that edge where he isn't well enough to go to school, but staying home seems almost unneccessary. Until he 'crashes' that is. I can almost tell the moment the "orange medicine" begins to where off.

A little while ago, he crashed.


I've been adrift in that gray "Working Mommy" area for the past few days. Worrying about the boy -- Should I take him to the doctor? Is he wheezing? -- not sleeping well, listening for him, making sure he is resting comfortably.

People are tense and fully-scheduled at work which makes me feel like I should be there pitching in, but feeling like my contribution is minimal at best... which in turn makes me feel like "they" think I'm not performing as I should. When I'm at work, I'm getting things done, and making lists on the side of things I need to do at home.

At home, I'm not able to fully help my boy when he says "I no like be sick, Mom." I'm worrying about him, and worrying about work. All I've been capable of doing when the kids go to bed is crashing on the couch myself.

Punkin had an "Economic Fair" this morning that she really wanted us to go to. Had this week turned out differently, I would have been able to take an early lunch from work and shoot on over to her school for that. As it was, I took three half days to be home with Buddy, and couldn't do it, even if I had gone on in to work today.

This morning, I was researching which thermometer is best, and I called in to work twice. I still don't know if I should take Buddy to the doctor or not, and I have to get ready to go on in to work in the next little bit here.

Sometimes this Working Mom thing just isn't all it's cracked up to be.

14 comments:

Doug said...

How eloquently you put the dilemma in which you reside.

I was a bit older when Mom went back to work and I remember the look of worry she had as she started to work when I was sick. She'd leave me with all kinds of warnings about what to do and what not to do. Didn't really need them, I'd burrow in and try to sleep it off.

It got to me though how she wanted to be home with me.

Laura said...

I think tens of thousands of moms would agree with you on that one. It's so hard to balance these things! You're doing the right thing, don't worry.

sharkey said...

Hope your little guy's feeling better soon. Don't beat yourself up too much about work. It's just that--work.

Circus Kelli said...

Doug - Burrowing in and sleeping it off... that is what I would love to do with this feeling. :)

Laura - "Don't worry" she says. But I'm SO good at it!

Sharkey - Thank you for the reminder. :)

Bone Machine said...

When he gets the mohawk, call me. I'll teach him some Ramones songs.

Circus Kelli said...

Bone, you got it.

eclectic said...

Oh I hear you, Kelli! Two days we juggled while Grayson was sick, then today, Carter started the fevers, too, just as Gray was headed back to school. And of course, I was scheduled to be "Snack Mom" for the middle school monthly staff appreciation day, AND had a full calendar at work, too. *sheesh*

But as long as we keep putting the kids at the top of the list, we'll ultimately find that we chose the right thing. I believe that, because I have to in order to stay sane.

Hugs to you, Kel~!!

Susie said...

Take good care of the Mommy, and then she can take care of the rest. And rest.
I am the Snack Mom every day. (That's the Mom who eats the most snacks, right?)

Bone Machine said...

I've been feeling punk for years.

The Kept Woman said...

I feel for you. That's totally a rock and a hard place...I offer no advice except for this too shall pass.

Which is a really stupid piece of advice at that but it sounded good...

Anonymous said...

I hope everyone is soon well.
Lynn

platypus said...

Oh I do feel for you. All of the working mothers know exactly how crappy it is to feel torn like that. You're doing the right thing though and poor little Buddy will feel so much better if his mummy is there. I hope he feels better soon. :)

Nilbo said...

It's tough, because while nobody would argue that the kids are clearly the most important thing, the fact is, sometimes you can't take care of the kids as well as you'd like without the job. So the job takes on even more importance.

SEE why I never got a job? I tell you, they're just a complete bother.

I admire you, CK. You're one of those quiet towers of strength, and whatever we can do to keep you from crumbling is far too little payment for the inspiration we take from you.

Circus Kelli said...

Eclectic - Hugs to you too!

Susie - Heh, yeah, with that definition, I'm a Snack Mom everyday, too.

Bone - It looks good on you.

TKW - I'll take that advice. I'll take whatever advice I can get.

Lynn - Thank you.

Platypus - I hope that, too. Thanks, love.

Nilbo - Thank you kindly, sir. I'm not sure I deserve your admiration, but I appreciate it all the same.

All Circus Life pages and content are owned and
copyrighted by me, 2000-2013