1.04.2008

Not Even Remotely Politically Correct Celebrity Apprentice Commentary

I would like to go on record at this point and say that I haven't watched "The Apprentice" in ages, and when I did, it was only because Hubs had recorded it and it was a show for the two of us to watch together for our "tv date". Most other reality shows leave me flat. "The Biggest Amazing American Race Survivor Idol Runway Project" -- pfft. The only reason I am watching "Celebrity Apprentice" (CA) now is because of Trace Adkins. Momma likey Trace Adkins.

This isn't to say I'm a freaky fanatic about the show or whatever. I'm not going to go into strategies or alliances, etc. but it's fun to dish on the show and if you can't dish with your bestest blog friends, who can you dish with? Now, fair warning, there may be some spoilers. Keep in mind, it's all in fun, y'all. So, here's my opinionated commentary:

Week Four:
Trace... hmmm.... I just love that voice. I don't think I've mentioned that before, have I?

Is it just me, or is Vinny eating, like ALL THE TIME?

What's with Nely all "I'm A STAR!" She said it a couple of times during the episode. Yeah, we got it, darlin. You're a star. A big bright shining star. Whatever.

After this episode, I have a newfound respect for Marilu Henner. And I still think she's too thin.

Carol, honey, you're playing it on the "safe side", you know you are.

Gawd, Omarosa is a "challenger", a "button pusher" -- and I'm beginning to see she serves a purpose. That doesn't mean I like her, though... and her clothes still need to be just a wee bit looser.

The tension between Stephen Baldwin and Piers Morgan was funny -- watching them both get all ruffled up and blustery... then giggling together a bit later. Too funny.

Now, seriously, this week, Empresario kicked some major bootay with their task. They really did. The group jumped right on their task and started making calls and getting organized. I was shocked to find out Hydra won, even if only by about $2000. Hydra did a good job of "barkering" and getting attention, but the only reason they won was because of the last minute donation from the record company. If Empresario's donation had arrived three minutes sooner, they would have been the winners instead.

As for Jennie getting fired... yeah, I guess I can see that. It was tough call, picking one of the women left to fire. As I said, I thought they really did a great job this week. I liked Jennie, she seemed very nice. The Board Room just didn't seem to be her thing.

Week Three:
Whoa. Didn't see that coming...

Some snarky bits first:
Omarosa - Darlin, you need to find a happy medium between the crazy big suit from last week, and the too-small skirt from this week. Seriously. I have a closetful of skirts that fit me like that -- it's just not pretty.

Tito - Dude. Why was your suit so shiny?

Gene - Mr. Outside the Box? How 'bout Mr. Off the Show?

Carol - You were great at not throwing Nely under the bus. You get the teamwork award for the week.

Nely - What's with throwing Jennie in pit? You know you should have gone... shame on you.

Trace - Mmmm. I'd totally buy a printer from that guy. All he'd have to do is shake my hand and ask.

Favorite quotes from this week:
"Let's just all calm down." - Trace
"The girls don't stand a popcorn fart chance..." - Gene

Due to some manipulative editing, I'm sure, I didn't see Hydra winning this week at all. I really thought Empresario was going to win -- they had all the glitz and professionalism. Gene Simmons is a marketing master, and it was a great presentation. It's just too bad they weren't able to incorporate what the Kodak execs wanted into it, huh?

Gene did lend a certain something to the show with his chauvanism and pigheadedness. He and Omarosa and the Donald would be great as competitors on a Survivor show, wouldn't they?

I love that Trace got a bit more exposure on the show... maybe he'll be one of the half-nekkid guys next week...


Week Two:
Trace speaks in this episode! hubba hubba

Nely's eyebrows were perfect in the Board Room. Truly.

Jennie Finch is one tall drink of water. Wow.

How did Oddarosa distance herself so totally from the project and get away with it? Oh, and nice kissing up to the Donald. Pfft.

Gene, proclaiming Trace's voice "... like the voice of God..." -- Genius. What he said to Ivanka, not so much.

Stephen Baldwin looks like that lizard from the insurance commercials, only less green. And really... what made him think he could take a pack of celebrities out on to the streets of New York and try to film something without attracting a lot of attention??

Out of both public service announcements, I really thought the one the guys did was the best... and not just because I'm voting for Trace. Empresario's PSA was weak. Hydra's PSA was just perfect for what it was. It's kind of odd that Gene and Stephen pretty much did the whole thing by themselves, but it seemed to work... and using Trace for the PSA voiceover... ooohhhh yeah...

Nadia was fired this week. I think it was the right choice. She seemed a bit hesitant and nervous around the others; I don't think she would have been able to successfully lead a team.

Week One:
Duuuuuude.... Trace Adkins.... *slobber*
I love that he says he didn't really want to be on the show. (yeah, I've checked out all the online hoopla on the CA website, and maybe the stuff about Trace Adkins twice and maybe clicked on over to the official Trace Adkins website...why?)

Omarosa is just... odd. Oddarosa. "Oh, I've changed... blah blah blah" Liah. And what the hell was that outfit she was wearing in the Board Room at the end? Good God.

Stephen Baldwin gives me the creeps.

Marilu... honey, you need to eat some of them hot dogs you were serving up... you're lookin' a little scary thin.

Looks like Nely's had some "work" done.

Gene Simmons... dude, I'm not sure if your hair is better or worse than Trump's.

Aww... poor Tiffany Fallon got booted because she's young and nice. Apparently, Trump no likey young and nice. Too bad. I thought she was cute. I liked her. Oddaroa shoulda been booted.

Did I mention Trace Adkins is on the show?

19 comments:

so NOT cool said...

The only version of the Apprentice that I have seen was the one with Martha Stewart. I thought about tuning into this one just to see Tito Ortiz lose because I can't stand the guy. I'm not familiar with most of the others except Marilu Henner and, *shudder*, Gene Simmons.

Brudder doug said...

Marilu Henner - - - hmmm ---- is that the same gal on Taxi ? Liked her.

Hearing is distorted enough that I don't do music much anymore.

But I do have favorites - - Northern Exposure re-runs and off course Mash re-runs. THen going back aways Soap, Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman.

whatwasithinking said...

I watched it. I used to watch, but then I decided that Trump is an ass, and I stopped. (I watched the first season, with Oddarosa, who was a TOTAL LIAR.) But I watched last night. Trace's voice is sexy. His mouth might be too small. That's enough of that.

I kept wondering why Marilu didn't rat out Oddarosa (love it) by saying that she, Marilu, TRIED to get Oddarosa to sell celebrity. If Oddarosa had listened, they would have won. But she REFUSED. Very surprised that Marilu didn't speak up. She must have something up her skinny sleeve.

You're right. If you can't dish here, then where.

AND I love you.

eclectic said...

Haven't watched. But I DO like me some Trace Adkins' backside... do they show it often? I'm not saying that would make me watch, but it would at least make me think about watching the show. ;)

And, I love you!!

(Yes, I copied Susie. But only because I want to be just like her, PLUS, she happened to say what I was going to say and she got here first. It's totally NOT my fault that she has a 3-hour time-zone advantage.)

Nilbo said...

Not that I ever watch the show. But .. umm ... I heard a few things about it.

How low does your star have to be on the D-List before you're desperate enough to go on "Celebrity" Apprentice? I mean, I'm sorry, I know you like this Tracey Addams guy, but seriously. When you're less famous than some random Baldwin, you may want to look at a career in the fast-paced world of furniture re-upholstery.

That said, it was amusing, in a cringeworthy way, to watch the "celebrities" try to peddle hot dogs. The highlight was when one of the guys called up his girlfriend, Jenna Jameson, to come down and help. There's a girl who knows foot-longs.

I agree with your assessment of Egorossa's astonishingly hideous boardroom attire. Somewhere, some grandmother is looking high and low for the cover that was on her love seat in the parlour.

I knew who was going to be cut loose before the boardroom started. As much as Trump likes being surrounded by trophy playmates - and as much as he loves to drop the name of his "good friend Hef" (Hef, watching in the Mansion, surrounded by playmates: "God, I met him once and still feel like I need a shower.")- you just know he wasn't going to fire Ego-rossa and give up on the only possible reason people would watch this show.

I did love the Brit guy, Pier Two Imports or whatever his name is, and his smackdown of "Amarossa" - "I'm sorry, I know you're meant to be famous, but I can't quite figure out for what."

Seriously, though. Random Baldwin outshines you in the Celebrity Firmament? That's like one step from opening for Jay And The Americans at the Flint, Michigan State Fair.

Gretchen said...

I haven't watched the regular Apprentice since forever, but this one is better because they're mostly grown-ups, sneaky, and Trump probably doesn't scare any of them.

I think I read Marilu Henner is on some super-vegan no sugar way-of-life diet or something. I'm surprised she even got close to the hot dogs.

Circus Kelli said...

SoNotCool - Hee hee. I figure, with all the "personalities", it will be interesting at least.

Brudder Doug - Yep, that's her. I think I'm getting a newfound respect for her.

Susie - AND I love you. :) Mhmm. Me likey Trace's voice.

E, baby - AND I love you too! They show some of T's backside, but not often enough. ;)

Nilbo - And why am I not surprised you can't get Trace's name right, but you know all about Jenna Jameson...? Oh, and your comment about the missing cover for the love seat - brilliant!

Gretchen - Yeppers, that's the same thing I was thinkin (they're not afraid of Trump).

Laura said...

I lost you after you mentioned Trace Adkins. Every word then became a blur. See, you could have written this post with two words and the photo and that would have been enough for me ;)

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Donald Trump is an ass.

Circus Kelli said...

Laura - His name and photo would have been enough for me, too, but I felt compelled to add more. I wouldn't want people to get the idea that I'm only watching for glimpses of Trace... *snork*

SSN - A very rich ass.

Character Builder said...

I'm with you. Trace is the only reason I tuned in. I wasn't sure when it started, I just happened to run across it when I tried to tune into The Office. I was bummed that it wasn't on, but it was ok when I realized that CA was on.

I didn't see the entire thing, but Trace seemed awfully quiet. I guess he's the strong silent type, huh?

I heard his newest song, "You're Gonna Miss This" the other day, and it brought tears to my eyes. I love sappy songs like that!

I wanted to slap Omarossa! I also wondered why nobody brought up the fact that she didn't want to use their celebrity. She's a biatch!

Have a great week, and GO TRACE!!!

Jen M. said...

Meow!!

And all the Baldwins are weird, I totally agree.

Circus Kelli said...

Jen M - I try to reserve my catty comments for celebrities. :)

CharBldr - No kidding! In one interview I saw somewhere, Trace said that being on CA was the "greatest exercise in restraint I've ever faced" or something like that. I can believe it. I haven't heard his new song yet.

Nance said...

Ok, you LOST me when you mentioned T.A. I hate country music, and I think he looks like he has his chin sharpened daily.

Sorry.

But little bunny-girl was WAAAAAY outta her league. She had to go. It was like a lamb in a den of lions.

whatwasithinking said...

I loved the men's PSA. I wanted to like the women's. But the voice, and the bulldog, and whatshisface was just too cute - - Lennox --- such a sweet smile while he played with the doggy. No contest. So tonight, I see that Gene Simmons is King of all Women. Yea. Whatever.

Bone Machine said...

I saw about ten minutes of the show last night. I'm surprised that I lasted that long.

I hate the Donald.

I hate the entire Baldwin lineage.

I hate that Whateverossa.

Even as a recovering Kiss fan, Gene $immon$ is not among my most favorite people in the world. It's a sad day when that jackass is about the only person I can tolerate and my tolerance for him is minimal at best.

Trace who?

whatwasithinking said...

Before you comment on week 3, I would like to add more remarks on week 2. Is that allowed? Good.
Early in that show, when Lennox Lewis said that he was a dog-lover, and the Donald said, "Really? What do you like, pit bulls?", I wanted to smash him in his ugly racist face. Is there someone else who could have said such a thing on TV and not have gotten called on it? Have I mentioned that Donald Trump is an ASS?

That is all. For now.

Circus Kelli said...

Nance - Country music is one of those things you either hate or love... and honestly, there is a lot of country music I hate. Before I ever saw a pic of TA, I was mesmerized by his voice.

Susie - I liked the men's PSA way better... every time I listen to it, I like it more... ;)

Bone - Wow! Ten minutes?! I'm so proud of you! Just do what I do, tone out everyone and everything else and look for the cowboy hat...

Susie - Of COURSE that's allowed! I haven't even seen Week 3 yet! :) And yeah, I remember hearing him say that. Too bad his name isn't Donald Stump.

whatwasithinking said...

Ahem. OK. Week Three. The handwriting was on the wall when Nely wouldn't listen, WOULD NOT LISTEN to her clients. Don't understand why Carol didn't bring that up. I'm sad to see Gene go, only because he was so entertaining. (OK, I guess I do see why Carol kept quiet; she knew Nely should go, but she thought it in her best interest to get rid of Gene at this point. Good move; Nely will do herself in soon enough.) One of the most bizarre elements of this one was that even as fired-ass Gene drove away at the end, he STILL did not know what his clients wanted to sell. It wasn't Kodak, wasn't printers, it was ink. He still didn't know, and still insisted that he was right and his "employer" was wrong. And here we thought his tongue was the biggest part of him. Nope, that would be his ego.

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