2.07.2008

I Know People

My Grandfather has been in a nursing home since my Grandmother passed away over a year ago. I've only visited him a handful of times. I have my excuses for not visiting, but the truth of the matter is, I feel helpless and ineffective and very awkward when I visit him. I feel like it comes off me in waves. He was never much of a talker, and I love him to pieces. I don't know how to get past the loss of *that*.

My FIL is still struggling with his battle with cancer, and has had some small improvements. I pray for him and the family.

One friend has just been diagnosed with a Pancoast Tumor, causing severe pain in his shoulder, arm and hand. He begins radiation this week. He is a sweet, sweet man who thinks of the Circus here as part of his extended family. I hate that he's going through this and pray for strength and comfort for him and his lovely wife.

One friend is dealing with an unknown health foe and potentially facing a diagnosis she doesn't want to hear. She is a fantastic woman with a very generous spirit. She has shared some of her struggles, and I just can't imagine how she keeps an optimistic attitude in the face of what she's gone through so far, let alone what the future holds. I wish I could wave a magic wand and heal her symptoms or give her better answers or solutions. Short of being able to do that, I pray for her and her family.

Another friend has a very, very busy life and she can't figure out how to take time for herself, and being able to accomplish the things she wants to accomplish. She is a fabulous person with a terrific heart. I'm concerned about her burning out somehow. I don't have any answers for her, but I really wish to God that I did.

One coworker was diagnosed with breast cancer just before the holidays. She went in yesterday for a second lumpectomy, and will being radiation treatments shortly. I pray and worry for her and wish I could help somehow.

Another coworker was diagnosed with an "unknown" cancer two weeks ago. They know she has cancer, but they can not currently locate the source. I don't know her very well, but I pray for her and wish I could somehow be of help.

I believe another coworker is battling cancer, but I do not know the specifics. I've only ever just said "hi" in passing, and now I don't know what to say when I see her in the hallways.

People I know are fighting their own battles, coping with their own losses...

I don't know what to do to help these people, and I begin to feel helpless... so I hope for them and pray for them and keep them in my thoughts. I wish it could be more.

20 comments:

Mrs. G. said...

I believe in the power of thought and prayer. We do what we can. I'm sorry that you're blue.

Sharkey said...

When I was dealing with cancer, what I wanted more than anything else was to be NORMAL. I didn't want people to see cancer walking down the hall--I wanted them to see ME! Be friendly, be nice, and say what you would normally say. I think that's what your co-worker would appreciate.

Keep up the prayers--I definitely think they help too!

Laura said...

I hear ya on this one. We have several friends and family members going through much the same thing at this time.
But I do believe in the power of prayer, and sometimes, that's really all you can do.

kcinnova said...

So many hurting people. I can tell from your words and your updated layout that your heart is full of love for these folks.

whatwasithinking said...

Prayers change the world. Love changes the world. You put out world-changing stuff. You have the loveliest spirit ever. I'm glad I get to be on the planet at the same time as you.

Character Builder said...

Oh man, it stinks, doesn't it? You feel so helpless. But you're doing the best thing you can by including them in your thoughts and prayers. Let them know you're there for them, at least the ones you're close to. I'm sure they couldn't ask for anything more.

Circus Kelli said...

Mrs. G - We do what we can. Thank you.

Sharkey - Thank you for this!

Laura - Hugs to you. I'll add you to my list.

kcinnova - Thanks.

Susiekins - It is my honor to share the planet with you.

CB - Thanks. I appreciate that.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Oh my; I feel we're living parallel lives. It is so hard when a close friend is sick. It is happening to you, and yet not nearly in the same way it is happening to the person/family.

My BFF's husband (also a close friend) has terminal cancer at 45. Another close friend's husband has an inoperable, malignant brain tumor at 47. I've lost both my sister and mother to cancer in the last five years. I attended a memorial for my sister-in-laws dad last weekend, who died of leukemia at 58.

Sometimes I just wonder what in the hell is going on? I do not remember this happening to my parents' friends when I was growing up. My youngest daughter has two good friends facing the immiment loss of their dads--it just doesn't seem right.

I don't know the answer. I just listen and hope.

Brudder doug said...

A Ring-mistress with wings and a halo and well guarded Magic wand.

I love you Sis, Brudder doug

Lynn said...

Sometimes, a warm and caring greeting from a kind person does wonders, but I know what you mean. There is so much suffering.
{{{{{{{{Kelli}}}}}}}}

WILLIAM said...

Peace to you.

Shelby said...

You are doing all you can to help those you love.

Keep your spirits up and the love will keep flowing.

Much love to you.

Jen M. said...

I believe you're helping them all. Just by being there and praying and being you.

eclectic said...

***teenager voice***

So, like, there's this one girl in the Midwest? And her name is Kelli, but we all call her CK, because her first name is "Circus"? Yeah, anyway... like I was saying, there's this one girl from Illinois? So, Yeah. She's the best! She's real, and true, and funny, and kind, and smart, and creative, and has this knack for always saying just exactly the right thing, y'know? ***end teenager voice (thank god!)***

You really do have a special brand of compassion in your heart, Kelli. It makes you one very special person. So, like... when are we gonna have you cloned? ;)

love you!

Ashley Ladd said...

I'll keep your grandfather, you, and your friends and coworkers in my prayers. Sometimes all you can do for others is to pray for them and to listen. Just be there for them if they want to talk or use your shoulder.

My aunt's in a nursing home, several states away. I wish I could visit her more, but I can't afford to travel that far often or to take that much time off work.

One of my coworkers is battling cancer, too. Another's going through a lot of tests and doesn't yet know what's wrong. It's tough. I wish I had a better answer.

Ortizzle said...

What Sharkey said. I think a lot of the time we are afraid to reach out because it is to painful to "bring up the subject" and because it reminds us of how fragile life really is. Beyond prayer, I think a smile and a hug and a good laugh do a world of good when someone is just trying to get a grip on the day-to-day. That's something C.K. does well. Plus cookies.

Ashley Ladd said...

Thanks for dropping by my blog.

It is very hard to deal with cancer. My mother died of bone cancer 20 years ago. It was so very torturous to see her suffer, to know her time was limited, to know I was going to lose her, and that she was still so young. So unfair. And yet, I hated to see her go on suffering. I had to cherish the time I had left with her and that got cut shorter than we thought it would.

Bone Machine said...

Life was so much easier when the worst health ailment that I knew of was getting a cold and people actually died of old age.

At some point along the way, my eyes were opened to the harsh reality that is life. I've come to know a lot of folks with various health issues, as well as dealing with my own.

It's becoming the norm and I hate this particular norm.

a. beaverhausen said...

Sometimes...that's all you CAN do.

Maddy said...

I'm a great believer in the power of positive energy. Call it prayer or good wishes, I don't really care, but I'm quite certain that it helps somebody somewhere.
BEst wishes

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