Going, Going, Going, Gone

Sweet Pea was diagnosed Tuesday afternoon with strep throat. She went to school Tuesday morning with an invisible question mark on her forehead. She was a little bit warmer than usual, but she seemed to be doing ok, and she really wanted to go to school, and she could have been faking the headache... so, I sent her. I got the call to pick her up just after noon. No problem. I figured I would leave work, pick her up and we would take it easy for a bit that afternoon after seeing the doctor.

After visiting the doctor, getting the prescription for the pink bubble gum medicine, and picking up the other two clowns, it was already 4:30pm. After that, it was dinner and laundry and dishes and administering medicine and bedtime for the clowns.

So much for the 'taking it easy' plan.

I should have known it would be like that. I had been trying to find time to sit and relax, maybe even read a book, all during the long holiday weekend that had just passed. That hadn't happened either.

Sweet Pea was under doctor's orders to stay home from school on Wednesday. When I woke up Wednesday morning, I thought the day was going to go like this:

  • Drop off the oldest and youngest clowns at school
  • Return home with the middle clown
  • Eat a leisurely breakfast
  • Check my home and work emails
  • Tweet
  • Read some blogs
  • Possibly start a load of laundry
  • Lay on the couch with Sweet Pea
  • Rest
  • Watch cartoons

I heard the radio alarm and rolled over, ignoring it. Then, Hubs told me he had made plans to have someone look after Sweet Pea so I could go in to work.

I sat straight up in bed, kicked my legs, pounded my fists on the blankets and screamed "NOOOOO!!! I WANNA STAY HOME!!!! I'M TIRED!!!"

In my head.

I hadn't slept well for several nights in a row by this point. I was very tired, and now I was completely ticked off because I had no legitimate reason to stay home.

Completely petty, right? I know. I couldn't help it. I was beyond worn out in mind, body and soul. My inner child raged while my outer responsible adult got dressed and went to work like a good little employee.

It took a couple of hours for my inner child to stop with the incessant whining about how life is unfair and stoopid and I just wanted to rest please dear God let me rest and on and on and on.

I took a deep breath and attempted to look on the bright side.
I was at work - I had to take a half day off on Tuesday to take care of Sweet Pea, and I had already had a half day off on Thursday to take care of some things for Punkin. Being home on Wednesday would have been a bit of a burden for my boss, as well as using up some of my precious paid days off. Being at work on Wednesday was a good thing.

Since I was at work, I didn't have to watch "Little Einsteins."

There was nothing I *had* to do during my lunch hour. Since I was tired, I went tanning. (I go tanning for the nap I get under the lights.) The day was a bit chilly and dreary, and the lovely warm "photo-therapy" was just what I needed.

Not the day I had planned, for sure, but once I gave my inner child a timeout, I managed to turn my attitude around a bit.

Still a bit tired and weary Wednesday night, I cringed when the kids asked me what was for dinner. I just did NOT want to go through the whole process of making dinner, etc. I paused a moment, then smiled and told Punkin she was going to make the frozen pizzas while I rested on the couch. She was thrilled! So was I! I told the Circus I was putting myself in a timeout on the couch until dinner was ready. For once, I didn't mind the fact that it took Punkin three times as long to complete a task as it would if I did it myself. I truly had no idea why it took her 15 minutes to get the pizzas in the oven, nor did I care at that point. I felt like I had been "going going going" for the past five days and I finally had the opportunity to veg out a bit.

Just as I laid my head on the big fat flame pillow we keep in the family room, the phone rang. Of course it did. I talked to the caller for a bit, then closed my eyes again. The kids were running in and out from outside, then they were coloring -- asking me questions every few minutes. I thought people in timeouts weren't supposed to talk to anyone?

After dinner, I refused to do the dishes... or the laundry... or much of anything else. I resumed my place on the couch and stayed there as long as I could. Oh sure, I got up now and then to grant requests from the rest of the Circus, but mostly I stayed put until the kids were in bed and finally asleep.

I climbed the stairs for bed earlier than I had in days and days, and just before I drifted off to sleep, I thought..."Well, it wasn't what I expected, but it wasn't all together bad either."

There were dishes piled up in the sink and laundry piled up in the hamper. The house was a mess and there were too many things left undone.

And I slept. Finally.

"Life is under no obligation to give us what we expect." -- Margaret Mitchell


Sharkey said...

I give you a lot of credit for turning your attitude around. I don't know if I could've done it.

But leaving the house a mess and going to bed? Yeah, I could totally do that. Without a second thought.

Claudia said...

I give myself time outs all the time. I never stay in them though. I'm naughty like that. ;)

Brudder doug said...

Fmmily life in reality, sweetly told by a great Mommy ! ! ! !

eclectic said...

Shawkey said essentially what I was going to say. Which proves to me, yet again, that Shawkey's brilliant! (hee!)

Also, I have to say it... you are someone I admire SO much. The hardest thing in the world for me is to take the inner tantrum by the scruff of the neck and march it back upstairs until it can be civil. But it's the best possible thing we can do for our families. Thanks for the great reminder, CK.

Nance said...

My inner child is such a brat. And I love her.

(Holy crap, strep. How well I remember those bouts. Sam got it EVERY SINGLE JUNE. Like clockwork. And he fevered with delirium. Such fun.)

Bone Machine said...

That strep throat is a bear and a half. God bless her.

Mama Zen said...

And, sometimes we are under no obligation to get off the couch!

kcinnova said...

LOL, "I thought people in timeouts weren't supposed to talk to anyone?"

I've certainly been known to give myself a time-out in my own room (or the bathroom) but during dinner prep? That was brilliant!!
And you did a great job of managing your attitude. Me? I need to work on that a bit more often.

Sorry about the strep. No fun.

Circus Kelli said...

Sharkey - Hee!

Claudia - You ARE naughty! I like it. ;)

Brudder - Thank you, dear friend.

Eclectic - You're BOTH brilliant!

Nance - My inner child is a great source of amusement to me, but sometimes... she's a devil. ;)

Bone - She's feeling better now. That must have worked!

Mama Zen - Really? Hmm... I'll have to explain that to the circus. :)

Kcinnova - I'm ALWAYS working on my attitude. ;)

Bone Machine said...

In addition to future cult leader, I also moonlight as a healer. I could take it on the road and make like fifteen bucks.

All Circus Life pages and content are owned and
copyrighted by me, 2000-2013