Calling it

There have been a lot of times this week when I feel as though I am barely holding myself together.

Forget focusing too much on any one thing -- my brain is working full speed ahead on making sure the clowns have what they need, and that everything is ready for them to start the school year.

Supplies. Check
Backpacks. Check
Lunch boxes. Check
Lunch tickets. Check
New shoes. Check
New clothes. Check
Emergency phone numbers. Check. Check.

My work schedule has been impacted from all the last minute before school preparations, and I'm pretty sure I'm in the negatives now for paid time off.

We've met the teachers.
We've attended the orientations.
We know the before school routine.
We have the after school routine planned out.

I've done some of my assigned pre-start-of-school homework, and will do more tonight.

There will be long, hot soaking baths for each clown to scrub off any last remaining bits of summer vacation. After that, the first-day-back-to-school outfit will be chosen and laid out for the morning.

There is a meeting I'll be catering at work this week. I finally made all the catering arrangements for that yesterday. In the morning, I'll have to remember to pick up the breakfast food on the way in to work.

The clowns are all pretty excited about getting back to school. Sweet Pea is happy that Ms. W is her teacher again, and couldn't be more enthusiastic about the "awesome classroom!"

I've been attempting to eat better, and get some regular exercise, and I've been doing ok, but this week, I'm definitely off that wagon. I can't focus on it.
My mind and my heart are elsewhere.

This week, my oldest clown goes into middle school.

My youngest clown goes into kindergarten.

As much as I'm happy about them reaching these milestones, I don't know that I'm ready. There's so much I still want to teach them, show them, and I know that I still have time, but time is moving by so fast--What if I don't get all the lessons in before they go? What if I forget something?

So, this week I will take the first-day-of-school photos, give big hugs, tell them I love them and caution them to "make good choices" before making sure they get to where they need to be.

Then, I will reluctantly go to where I need to be.
And try not to think about those yesterdays when they were so little that they could and would sleep a snuffily kind of soft baby sleep on my shoulder.

This week, I'm going through the motions, keeping busy, trying not to think too much and calling it all a wash before it's even halfway done. I'm allowed.

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This post brought to you by Being a Mom, Parenthood, and the by the letter "Shut up, I am *not* crying. I have allergies."


Squirl said...

You are, most certainly, allowed. Hang in there, hon. :-)

Sheryl said...

Yes, hang in there!

I feel like there's only a thread left holding it all up these days myself. And I don't even have kids.

Hopefully things will settle down soon.


kimz1 said...

For that "woohoo" have you tried a Grande'cafe vanilla frappicino with two shots of esspresso poured on top not blended? Works for me every time. I can catch my 7 yr old son almost every time...

eclectic said...

Congrats! You made the transition, and so did they. And life marches forward with as much of our motherly good intentions as we can volley into it. But I'm convinced that even if we don't fit everything in, or if some of it gets messed up on the way, the important thing is that the steady, inexorable march of time is permeated with as much love as we can share.

You are one of my favorite moms, you know that right?

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