So, nearly two weeks ago, my circus life was upended a bit.
Bio-Mom called to say she was going to the hospital because her bronchitis and pneumonia weren't getting any better. She got sick in December and was diagnosed with bronchitis. In January, it grew to pneumonia. A few days after she was admitted, she ended up getting a shiny new heart valve. We are all completely thrilled that she came through the surgery just fine and is healing little by little.
Later that same day, my Executive Administrative Assistant position was eliminated from the place I've worked for nearly 24 years. There had been rumblings and rumors, and the company is undergoing some changes. To say I knew or had a feeling this was coming is true in the same sense that we all know we're going to die at some point, we just hope it's not today.
While I know this will be a good thing when all the dust settles, I can tell you this hit me hard. I was a bit teary during the exit interview, but held it together when I collected my things. I made it to the van and became a blubbering mess on the phone with my husband. It was a significant loss, expected or not.
Once home, after another bout of tears, I sat in the chair running through everything in my head. I decided I should probably get the vacuum cleaner out and vacuum behind the corner television that we never move in the family room. And then I realized I just might go insane... a short trip, really.
I haven't, though. I'm ok. I'm completely out of my comfort zone and I miss the people I worked with and I have some moments of disbelief, frustration, and major self doubt. And, I know it's only been about two weeks, but I have hope. Lots of hope. It comes in the form of advice from people I've reached out to, every new job listing I see, and friends and family.
My days are spent listening to my music, connecting with people, working my network, getting coached through this process, checking job listings, and tweaking my resume.
It may be a bumpy road, and I can't see how long it is from where I am now, but I'll get to where I'm going. And it will be good.